Mind the Gap: Success vs. Happiness

By: Emily Parcell

This week After Action concludes the five-week series focused on processing our way through the post-election transition. I’m so excited to join the panel discussion on secrets to long-term success in the work of politics, campaigns, and social change and wanted to give you a sneak peek of what I’m thinking about on this topic. Random aside: one of my FAVORITE newsletters is from Positive Psychology and uses a 5-Bullet Point format I love, so am testing it out here with you.

1. Mind the Gap

As someone who just wrapped up a quarter of a century in this industry, I wish it came with a MIND THE GAP caution sign like the space between the platform and the subway/Metro/Tube/T/El/etc. If we imagine the platform is one job, and the subway car is your next job, that gap between them can feel unsettling. Why is that? Most humans are uncomfortable with the unknown, and the in-between of unemployment presents an additional set of financial challenges, internal and external pressure, and a whole host of generally “ugh” feelings to contend with. How do we prepare ourselves to weather the gap? Some forward-thinking activities (e.g. financial planning and filing for unemployment) can help with the money piece, but to contend with the mental and emotional piece, one place to start is by recognizing the difference between professional success and happiness.

2. All treadmills are torture devices – especially the Hedonic Treadmill.

I walk or run on a treadmill several times a week. It makes my knees hurt. I find it incredibly boring. I’m usually in pain when I’m done. I do it anyway. Mostly because I feel like I should – not because I enjoy it. Sound familiar?

In a pressure-cooker society fueled by social media to acquire/achieve/accumulate/be more, we’re led to believe we should pursue money, power, pleasure and admiration. We’ve been conditioned to equate these things with success, and most of us have internalized success to equate to happiness.

Science has shown traditional trappings of success to be a hologram if your true goal is happiness.

According to Arthur C. Brooks, a leading scholar and professor of the “Science of Happiness,” money, power, pleasure and admiration are the four pillars of what’s known as the “Hedonic Treadmill,” or “hedonic adaptation.” While achievement in these four areas can create a dopamine boost that mimics happiness, our brain is wired to settle back to a “set point of happiness” determined by the true pillars of happiness. This explains why landing the big promotion, getting a raise, or reaching a certain number of followers on social media never feels like enough. We’ve been solving for the wrong equation.

3. Enjoyment + Satisfaction + Purpose = Happiness

In his Managing Happiness course at Harvard, Brooks teaches the formula for happiness is Enjoyment + Satisfaction + Purpose. In her course Psychology and the Good Life, the most popular course offered in Yale University’s 300-year history, Dr. Laurie Santos teaches the formula for happiness is Free Time + Social Connection + Gratitude. In order not to stir up a distracting Ivy League controversy, I will utilize my political skills to suggest they are saying the same thing two different ways.

Brooks gives this simple example to illustrate his formula: pleasure is noticing how tasty Thanksgiving dinner is, while enjoyment is the experience of having dinner among family and friends. Brooks posits that pleasure is a thing, while enjoyment is an action that can only arise when it exists in combination with social connection and gratitude.

Another example from Brooks’ course (which I have taken and highly recommend, it’s offered free online through Harvard X): money sitting in your bank account might be notched as a measure of success, but using some of that money to pay someone to clean your house, mow your lawn, or babysit your kids to create more free time for you to spend on fulfilling pursuits or with friends and family creates satisfaction.

See the difference? Money, power, pleasure and admiration are like Diet Coke. They’re Imitation Happiness. They’re just not as good as the real thing.

4. Inspirational Quote

“Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.” – Aeschylus

5. Go down the rabbit hole!

If you are a learner like me and want to really dive into the science of happiness, check out these resources:

• Managing Happiness, Harvard X (free online course)

• The Science of Well-Being, Coursera (free online course)

• The Art and Science of Happiness online workshop ($30 - $100)

• Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey (great in-depth exercises and real-life examples in here)

• The Good Life Project podcast

• Ten Percent Happier podcast

JUST FOR FUN. While we’re on the topic of “in-between” stages, did you know the Tibetan term bardo translates to “existence in the interval?” While navigating your own bardo, check out Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders if you love weird historical fiction and are looking for something to do during the Free Time variable of your personal happiness equation.